I spent the last few days in Stockholm. It used to be my home many years ago. I still have beautiful memories of snowy winters and long summer days full of light spent with my ex-family. Celebrations of the national day, long lunches, museum visits, boat tours to the archipelago.

Then came the divorce and I never went back. In the beginning it was too hurtful to say goodbye to this life. Afterwards life caught up with me with its many faces and surprises and I didn’t feel the space. Until last year.

Last spring my ex-husband shared with me that my ex-mother-in-law was hospitalized. First time ever in her life. I was struck. It occurred to me that I may never see her again and I could not stand this idea. I just couldn’t see myself letting her silently depart without having ever expressed how much gratitude I feel towards her. So I bought a ticket and flew over to meet them after 12 years. That was last summer.

I had one of the most beautiful experiences in my life. Reconnecting with them, visiting their home as before, sharing heartfelt conversations, hugs, tears, smiles, everything. Everything was just as before, yet different. Much love, and too short.

So I was in Stockholm a few days ago. We continued from where we left and completed. It is a such a blissful feeling: gratitude to our past and present, as well as the joy of having found each other again in our old-but-new selves.

This time I could also say goodbye to Stockholm, the city of water. It had always given me peace and calm. I silently said goodbye and brought new beautiful memories with me.

I have been trying to understand the source of my bliss. Where does that come from? I found my answer: as we heal ourselves, we unconsciously give others the permission to do the same. No matter when.