One evening I after a long stressful workday, I was lying on the couch mindlessly doomscrolling Facebook. This is not something I do a lot, but that evening I was too tired for anything else. I saw the post of a tango dancer whom I had recently met in Buenos Aires. She asked a question: “Has anyone done the Path of Love or Hoffmann Process or even both?” Something about her question intrigued me, I became curious about what she was talking about so I started searching about the two topics she mentioned.

I found out that they were both self-development retreats well known among the community and in essence they are both a one-week long process. As I researched more, I saw that these processes have been instrumental to key transformations in people’s lives who attended them. I became even more curious. Everything looked like very professional, credible and promising.

I had been on the journey of self-discovery for a few years, which has become my passion. I know that I will be on it until my last breath, peeling off what does not serve me one layer at a time. Somehow Path of Love called me more than the other that evening and I trusted my intuition. I reached out to them to find out more. Few weeks later I found myself in an admissions interview for the process.

I did Path of Love at the beginning of June in a beautiful rural area just outside of Manchester UK. In summary, it is a one week long transformational process that helps you to get in touch with the parts of yourself you have long forgotten or never knew existed. Whether you like them or not, the process also teaches you to accept them unconditionally. All the while, you are supported by a loving and caring community of peers, helpers and therapists, who truly care for you. You come in as one person and leave as more.

That’s it. Path of Love changed my life. I understood that I have been denying parts of myself that are most precious to me for the fear of social disapproval. For example, I had been holding the belief that personal life does not belong to work, it is unprofessional. As a result, I never talked about my passion for tango dancing at work, as I believed it was inappropriate, it would make me look like an unserious, incompetent businesswoman. I left that part of myself at home. I had also been holding the belief that allowing myself to have fun in irresponsible. Work comes first; first work then play, if there is time left. There was never time left. I kept taking on tasks as work was important and I was a responsible person. With little or no time left for enjoyment I kept feeling depleted, demotivated and dull. Worst of all, I felt guilty whenever I gave myself permission to play feeling like I was ignoring my responsibilities. Without knowing, I cut access to my lifeforce.  

These are only two of the major insights I have gained during the week alongside of many wonderful moments of emotions and deep human connection. I learned to accept and love myself unconditionally as I was accepted and loved by the community that surrounded me. Without judgment without justification.

My most striking moment came on the day before the last when we engaged in a dancing activity, which lasted long and required sustainable physical energy. I saw myself still jumping with joy, running through the dance floor, laughing, turning, hopping when everybody was already lying exhausted on the floor. I was the only one up and I was not the youngest. I couldn’t believe the person I saw. Where did this tremendous energy come from? Where has it been all this time? If I had it, why have I felt so depleted, lifeless all this time? What did I do here which brought me to this point? I wanted her forever. She was alive. I wanted to be alive.

I left the retreat with immense feelings of gratitude, peace, meaning and connection. Path of Love has changed my life. Then, now and into the future. I took those questions with me and started exploring. What did I do there which have me so much energy? I reasoned if I discovered that and did more of that, I would have more of that beautiful life energy I found. I started my experimentation.

Since Path of Love, I have been very rigorous about making space in my life for things that I love to do. Tango dancing, writing, travelling, taking time for friends and family. I dropped the guilt because I replaced my old belief with the new one: doing what I love gives me life energy, and when I have that I am more productive and present at work. Time validated my new belief. I also had to actually make time in my busy calendar to be able to do things I love to do. This meant, I had to learn to say no. As I kept turning down meetings, not taking on commitments, letting go of non-essential tasks at work and in my life, I suddenly had much more time and space. Pure magic, and simple. Just two letters: no.

I discovered that I have a strong calling for helping people. Serving humans. I am unable to describe the feeling respecting its full worth using words, but I know that if I don’t respond to it, I will leave this earth incomplete. It is that strong. This feeling has become my compass in life guiding me to seek new directions where I can do more of that. It has given my life a deep and profound meaning, a cause which is bigger than myself. Helping others has always been an important part of myself, yet I had not realized that it was my soul’s purpose. Now that I am conscious of it, I also realize that how even little daily interactions feed my life energy. Carrying an old lady’s grocery bag, truly listening to a friend’s story without immersing in my own thoughts, making the unpleasant call at work which I know will ultimately unblock my employee, giving an extra little more tip to the service personnel at the restaurant have all taken on a deeper sense of meaning for me. They fulfill me.

I also recently started taking coaching education. I know that I can help others who are on my journey at the least by making them feel that they are seen and heard. They are not alone. It is unbelievable how much we need this as humans and how little we realize it. I do not have the answers but I am now learning to have the questions; questions that will hopefully open the doors for others that have been shut too long or have been unseen. Doors to freedom. If I can bring one smile, one new hopeful perspective, one positive belief to someone’s life, I will know that I contributed to this beautiful world and the one life that unites all of us.